How to say "no" to eating unwanted foods without hurting people's feelings

You've been here before and you don't like it...

You're at a barbecue and your pushy sister-in-law desperately wants you to eat something you don't want to eat.

You don't want to be rude or "cause a scene" so you eat it even though you've been trying hard to eat better.

Then, you feel bad about yourself and say "screw it" and eat treats the rest of the day.

Here's the good news…

You can say 'no' to eating food you don't want to eat without hurting people's feelings or your relationships.

Here’s how…

First, get clear on what your eating goals are BEFORE you go to a social food gathering.

Do you want to eat treats? Are you going to eat 100% optimal?

You can’t get clear with someone else trying to push food down your throat until you’re clear with yourself first.

Then, follow these 3 steps…

  1. Always assure the other person that your relationship is okay first (if you do honestly care about it).

  2. Next politely but firmly state your “no.”

  3. Then redirect the conversation again, by giving them another compliment.

For example...

Ways to assure them your relationship is okay...

  • “You’re so amazing...”

  • “I love you to death...”

  • “Thank you so much...”


Ways to redirect to your polite no.

  • “But... I haven’t had any sugar in a month so no thank you. I need to keep that going.”

  • “At the same time though... I’m going to politely decline.”

  • “But instead of (the cake), I’d LOVE or how about (some of the fruit salad you made).”

  • “As a rule I don’t eat ______ anymore and it’s working really well for me.” (You can also say “I can’t eat that” but ^^ is better if truly want to eat optimally long-term).

  • However, if I eat this, it’ll be right on my ass right away.”


Ways to redirect with a non-food compliment towards them...

  • “I LOVE that apron you’re wearing. Tell me, where did you get that?”

  • “I heard your son graduated with honors. Congratulations, you must be so proud.”

Then walk away from the food lol :)


Here’s an example of all three steps put together...

“That sounds delicious and I know you’re an excellent cook. At the same time though... I haven’t had any sugar in a month for health reasons and it’s really important to me that I stick to this so no thank you to the cake. I know you want what’s best for me so thank you for supporting me with my no sugar. It means a lot. Hey I LOVE that apron you’re wearing. Tell me, where did you get that?”

A simple “no thank you” works wonders too. “No” is a complete sentence.


If you’re still worried about offending someone, ask yourself how would you feel if your words were said to you by someone else. You’d probably respect them just fine :)

Remember, a good relationship can survive an honest and respectful conversation (and if it can’t, it’s not a healthy relationship).

Now I’d love to hear your thoughts by answering today’s Take Control Now Question…

Do you struggle with saying ‘no’ to food you don’t want to eat? What’s the hardest part about saying “no”?

Comment below.

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